Learn how to help your teen navigate the emotional ups and downs of relationships and breakups
When Phillips’ 13-year-old daughter started dating, she felt anxious about how the relationship and its end would impact her. This concern inspired her to write “First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak.” The book is a guide for parents navigating these tricky situations.
Often, parents might downplay their teen’s feelings, thinking, “It was just a crush.” But Phillips warns that this isn’t the best approach. It’s crucial to help your teen through this tough time.
First off, validating their feelings is key. Phillips insists that when heartbreak happens, it’s vital to acknowledge it. Teens need to know their grief is real, even if it seems minor to adults.
Dr. Maria Ashford, a psychologist, notes that heartbreak can contribute to rising anxiety and stress among teens. Many are hesitant to share their vulnerabilities, especially if they fear their feelings won’t be validated. By showing you care, you can help them heal.
Next, help them take steps toward moving on. Some teens might want to dwell on the breakup, but Phillips suggests steering them away from negative thoughts. You could say, “We’ve talked about this a lot. Let’s focus on one thing you can fix now.”
If your teen is reluctant to open up, watch for signs like avoiding social activities. This could indicate they’re feeling down. Check in with them gently, saying something like, “I know you’re going through a tough time. It might help to talk to someone.”
And remember, this isn’t about you. If you were close to their ex, you might feel sad too, but it’s important to handle your feelings separately. Avoid bringing up your own past breakups, especially if it involves their other parent.
The focus should be on your child and what they need to get through this. They need to feel heard and supported during this challenging time.
