Many older LGBTQ+ individuals are grappling with past traumas and loneliness as they navigate aging without support.
He contracted HIV back in 1986 and has since faced a slew of health problems, including heart disease and cancer. This past year alone, he’s been hospitalized five times due to serious infections and internal bleeding.
But it’s not just the physical health struggles that weigh on him. Hall, who grew up in a Tlingit tribe in Alaska, was separated from his family at just nine years old and sent to a boarding school. There, he faced bullying and abuse that really took a toll on him.
Living alone in Seattle, Hall has never been able to form close relationships. He got HIV from anonymous encounters at bathhouses and has spent most of his adult life solo.
“It’s tough to stay positive when you’re dealing with so much,” he shared. “You just get mentally drained.”
This feeling isn’t unique to Hall. Many older LGBTQ+ folks are also trying to manage life on their own. According to the National Resource Center on LGBTQ+ Aging, about 3 million Americans over 50 identify as gay, bisexual, or transgender, and many of them are single and living alone.
This group is growing quickly. By 2030, the number of LGBTQ+ seniors is expected to double, and many won’t have partners or kids to help them out. Research shows they face higher rates of anxiety, depression, and chronic illnesses.
It’s important to remember that this generation grew up in a time when being gay was illegal in many states, and they faced rejection from families and churches. They also lived through the AIDS crisis, which was devastating.
“Dozens of people were dying every day,” Hall recalled. “You spent your life going to support groups and funerals.”
It’s no surprise that many LGBTQ+ seniors feel isolated. An AARP survey found that nearly half of LGBTQ+ adults over 45 feel lonely, and many worry about having enough social support as they age.
Aging isn’t easy for anyone, but it’s especially tough for LGBTQ+ seniors who have lived with HIV for a long time.
Of the 1.2 million people with HIV in the U.S., about half are over 50, and that number is expected to rise. Christopher Christensen, 72, has been HIV-positive since 1981 and is active in local organizations for HIV survivors. He noted that many people never expected to grow old due to the crisis.
Jeff Berry, who leads the Reunion Project for long-term HIV survivors, pointed out that many are now facing worsening health issues and losing friends again, which can trigger old traumas.
Being alone without understanding support can make things even harder. Christina DaCosta from SAGE, a major organization for older LGBTQ+ adults, highlighted the lack of age-friendly and LGBTQ-friendly services.
Diedra Nottingham, 74, lives alone in an LGBTQ+-friendly housing complex in New York City. She was kicked out by her mother at 14 and spent years on the streets. She’s been working through her feelings of loneliness with therapy and visits from a volunteer, but she still feels isolated.
Donald Bell, 74, lives in subsidized LGBTQ+-friendly housing in Chicago. After caring for his elderly parents, he’s now dealing with his own health issues. He’s never had a long-term relationship but values the friendships he has.
“Of course I feel lonely,” he admitted, “but I’m grateful to have made it this far.”
Bell wants to be a role model for younger gay men, encouraging them to embrace aging rather than dwell on the past. “My past is over,” he said. “I need to move on.”
