A 35-year-old woman shares her journey of dating men who want children despite her choice to remain child-free
New York: So, I’m 35 and totally sure I don’t want kids. Right now, I’m just looking to connect with people, not dive into anything serious. I used to avoid guys who wanted kids, but I’ve changed my mind a bit.
Being child-free feels liberating, and I appreciate that I can make that choice. But I still enjoy having someone special in my life. It’s funny how most guys I meet are eager to settle down and start families. Back in my 20s, dating felt different, but now it seems like everyone’s on the hunt for a spouse.
After a pretty intense relationship, I’ve become protective of my freedom. It’s been over a year since that ended, and I’m not ready to jump into something serious just yet. But I’m open to dating different types of guys.
At first, I was strict about not dating men who wanted kids. I didn’t want to feel like I was just a means to an end. So, I’d swipe left on profiles that mentioned wanting kids. I thought I was being smart by avoiding that situation again.
But then I met someone I really clicked with. On our second date, I found out he wanted kids. I was bummed but not shocked. Dating apps make it seem easy to find what you want, but sometimes they miss the mark.
Connection is what I’m after, so I decided to see him again, even though I knew it was temporary. I realized that if I wanted to meet more people, I shouldn’t rule out those who want kids. It was time to change my mindset.
I also started dating outside my usual age range, which opened up new possibilities. I even considered dating single parents, something I never thought I’d do.
Being flexible has been working for me. I’m upfront about not wanting kids, and I know that not everyone is on the same timeline. When I’m ready to settle down, I’ll look for someone who shares my views on kids. But for now, I’m just enjoying the ride and focusing on quality connections.
