Discover how a decluttering moment transformed my relationship with my husband
City: My home has been a bit chaotic lately. My husband and I handle clutter in totally different ways. It used to lead to some serious conflicts between us.
But then I had this breakthrough about clutter and our communication improved. You know how it is when you have to dig through a messy basement? It gives me heart palpitations. There’s just so much stuff piled up everywhere.
My husband Mike loves to save things, while I prefer to let go. His clutter comes from his amazing basement renovations, but it still drives me nuts. I’m not a neat freak, but I like to have some control over my space.
Sometimes, I’d hold back my feelings because I didn’t want to nag him. But that just made me resentful, and when I finally spoke up, it turned into a mess. We both ended up feeling bad, and nothing got resolved.
At first, I thought my frustration was just about Mike keeping too much junk. But I realized it’s deeper than that. This past November, I was feeling down about everything, including the election and my writing career.
One day, I opened our spare room closet and felt this wave of tension. It hit me that the clutter wasn’t just Mike’s; it was ours. I wasn’t mad at him, but at the mess itself. I had this lightbulb moment: too much stuff makes me anxious, and decluttering helps me feel in control.
So, I decided to tackle the closet and told Mike, “I enjoy getting rid of stuff. I’m doing this for me.” That was a game-changer. Instead of being snarky, I approached him kindly about his things.
Now, when I ask, “Do you want these hats, or should I donate them?” he’s more open to letting go. It’s easier for me to part with things, but I’ve learned to respect his feelings too. I’ll still avoid the utility room to keep my blood pressure down, but I’m learning to love him by letting him keep his treasures.
